


i'm bugged at my ol' man (and he doesn't even know where it's at)

by sourcheeks



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Family Dynamics, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourcheeks/pseuds/sourcheeks
Summary: “Little Bill, dude, can you give me and your gramps a minute?”“Totally!” Billie smiled, and Ted would be surprised by how quick she split if he hadn’t done the same thing a million times as a kid.“You’re spoiling that girl,” his father began seriously.---“Your grandpa would be most displeased if he knew this is what I was doing instead of yelling at you.” Ted laughed.Billie laughs too, and Ted realizes for the first time that she has his laugh, the same droopy, dopey chuckle, and it makes him get all sappy. “You never yell at me.”
Relationships: Elizabeth/Ted "Theodore" Logan, Ted "Theodore" Logan & Billie Logan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 59





	i'm bugged at my ol' man (and he doesn't even know where it's at)

Billie's report card is most grim. There's nothing on it above a C, except, predictably, an A in her music class. That's how she'd presented the report to her parents - "Mom, Dad, I got an A in Mrs. Jameson's!"

Ted knew that trick. He used to use it when he gave his dad a report card full of bad grades, cherry picking the highest one. Though, unlike his daughter, he was pretty sure he'd never gotten an A in anything. 

And he knew that tenseness in his daughter's shoulders, the kind of tense kids got when they were waiting for their parents to scream. He knew Liz saw it too. 

"That's wonderful, sweetheart," Liz praised, and Ted watched the tension drain out of his daughter, replaced by her normal, vibrant smile. 

"Most excellent," Ted agreed. "And you aren't even failing anything!" He held his hand up for a high five. 

"I know you know history," Captain Logan was saying. "I don't understand why you have a 75."

"Hey, a 75 is average, Gramps," Billie defended herself. "Besides. I know  _ cool _ stuff about history. History class is all about, like, colonialism and wars. Boring stuff."

Ted's father sighed. "'Boring stuff' is important, Billie."

"Dad, she has a C." Ted put a protective arm around his daughter. "That's way higher than I ever got."

“I’m well aware, Ted.” 

Billie was all tense again, like she had been when she’d shown her parents her report card for the first time. Ted kissed the top of her head. She most definitely did not need to see Ted argue with his dad right now. 

“Little Bill, dude, can you give me and your gramps a minute?”

“Totally!” Billie smiled, and Ted would be surprised by how quick she split if he hadn’t done the same thing a million times as a kid. 

“You’re spoiling that girl,” his father began seriously. 

Ted sighed. “Billie is a good kid, Dad, I don’t care how she does in school.”

“Maybe you should start! How is she supposed to get into a good college with grades like that? And if she  _ does _ get in, how is she supposed to get a scholarship?”

“I never went to college!” Ted realized very quickly that this was not going to convince his father, so then he tried “And neither did Deacon!”

“That’s because your brother went to the  _ police academy, _ Ted. Is Billie planning on becoming a cop?”

Ted isn’t dumb enough to tell his dad a cop is the only thing he’s never going to let his daughter be when she grows up. “You know she isn’t, Dad.” 

Ted’s father sighs and rubs the spot between his eyebrows, and Ted realizes with a strange revulsion that he does the same thing when he’s frustrated. He wonders if the motion makes Billie feel as sick as Ted does right now. “You can’t protect her forever, Ted.”

“Yes I can.” Ted’s jaw is set, and he feels totally confident in what he’s saying even though he doesn’t actually know how he’s gonna do it. “I’m her dad. I’m gonna protect her til I die. Even if it’s what ends up killing me.”

Ted’s dad looked unphased, which was a bummer, because Ted thought it was a most convincing speech. “You’ll see one day, Ted.”

When Ted goes to Billie’s room, she has a bong in her lap. 

“Dad!” She tries to hide it, but Ted grew up in California in the eighties - he recognizes a bong when he sees one. 

“Hey, dude.” Ted sits on the edge of Billie’s bed, and he must look totally stressed, because she offers the bong to him. 

It’s been a long time since Ted used one of these things, but he still remembers how, and after passing it back and forth with his daughter a few times, the tense knot at the base of Ted’s skull is beginning to unravel. 

“Your grandpa would be  _ most _ displeased if he knew this is what I was doing instead of yelling at you.” Ted laughed. 

Billie laughs too, and Ted realizes for the first time that she has his laugh, the same droopy, dopey chuckle, and it makes him get all sappy. “You never yell at me.”

“What are you talking about? I used to yell at you all the time.”

Billie shook her head and her nose scrunched up. “No way. You guys used to  _ shout _ at us, when we were doing stuff that was dangerous, like, telling us to get down from there and stuff.”

Ted remembered this. Billie and Thea had been most difficult toddlers, liking to climb high things and put things that were not food in their mouths. 

“But you never  _ yelled,”  _ Billie continued. Off of Ted’s look, she clarified “Yelling is different. Yelling is what Grandpa does to you when he thinks I can’t hear him.”

Ted wraps an arm around his daughter. The fact that she’d been forced to experience his father’s rage, even secondhand, made him have a brief, sickening thought -  _ I wish I weren’t a pacifist. _

“Billie…” Ted pulled her closer, and Billie dropped her head on his chest. Ted didn’t remember when he’d last hugged his father. “Don’t listen to your gramps, dude. He doesn’t think you’re gonna make it. But I know you will.”

“How can I not?” Billie smiled up at him. “I got you, don’t I?”


End file.
